You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
