This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
