Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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