JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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