Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
