Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
