; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
