As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
