The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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