This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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