Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
