you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
