i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I can't put those talents on a resume
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
