Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
