I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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