I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
