You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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