wrigley field is MILF paradise
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
