Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
