Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
There are leaves in my underwear?
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