theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize