I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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