WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
