Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
