CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
