yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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