when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
