Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dignity is for republicans.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you had me at cake vodka
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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