I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize