I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dignity is for republicans.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
