Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
