Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize