Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
