two words...techno handjob
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
