I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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