i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
