just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
