my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
