I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
