JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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