You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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