i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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