My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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