at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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