Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize