this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
