We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
