Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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