so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
A bitchslap is in order.
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