I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
