OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
