so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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