the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Randomize
