awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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