So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
