Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
