google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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