1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
