What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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